If you are wondering and asking ‘How To Save My Marriage From Divorce”, this will be the most important information you’ve ever read.
When you said, “I do”you meant it, but you had no idea things would be so difficult. There is a reason why vows include “for better or worse”. Once the honeymoon period of a marriage wears off, loving each other is not as easy.
Marriage is work, sometimes more work than we bargained for. Most of us have the impression that for two people to get divorced they have to stop loving each other. The reality is that two people can still love each other deeply, they just stop liking one another.
If you feel like all you are doing is banging your head against the wall, you are not alone. Many married people find themselves in the same position you are in. The crossroad you have come to is one that you never thought you’d find yourself at.
If you want to save your marriage, it is time to stop doing what you are doing, and start doing what works. We all fall into habits, especially in relationships. There are the “go-to”things that we do.
Either we do them to get a response, or out of exhaustion, but they rarely work. Why do we continue to do things that are unproductive? They are working in some way to get what we want. Even if you feel like the last thing you are getting is what you want, you are.
The first step to saving your marriage is to examine why you are behaving the way you are, and what you are gaining from it.
Relearning how to like each other
If your fights are continually over the same thing, they aren’t going to change. Your behavior has to change. There are always going to be things in a relationship that won’t get resolved. To continue to try to change your mate, or to make a situation different, is only going to lead to the same end again and again.
There is a reason why you fight about the same things, they aren’t going to be resolved. Unless you agree to disagree, and that you can live letting it go, you are going to find yourself in constant turmoil.
Couples continue to argue about the same thing because it is more important to be right then to love each other. If you don’t realize that you can’t change your mate’s behavior, only your own, you are going to find yourself in this place forever.
If you want their reaction to change, you have to change your behavior. By changing your own actions, you will get a different reaction. If we can both agree that what you are doing now isn’t working, then we can both agree to get off the course to divorce you are on and stop doing it.
You have to learn what the triggers are and how to avoid them. If you know that phrases you say, or certain topics brought up, are going to lead to the same ends, don’t bring them up. Instead of confronting your mate when you know it is a bad time, wait for a better time or let it go.
Before you confront your spouse think about the way that it will most likely end. If you know that you have had the same fight a hundred times before with no resolution, ask yourself what is going to be different this time.
If the answer is nothing, then it may be time to just let it go and live with it. The only way to save your marriage is by changing your own behavior. You can’t change anyone else, that you have learned the hard way.
Figure out the way that you can relate to your partner to get what you need, instead of thinking that if you just talk louder they will hear you. They aren’t going to hear you until the delivery changes. It isn’t the message that is being misunderstood, it is the delivery of the message that is throwing up sound proof walls.
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